If you’re a founder, CEO, or senior leader building an organization that aims to shape the future — not just survive it — this is for you.
It’s lonely at the top. You’ve got heavy decisions, major challenges, and great opportunities ahead. But you can’t always share your thoughts with your leadership team or even your partners or owners. And often we make this isolation harder on ourselves because of our own habits. Moreover, popular Atomic Habits and High-Performance Habits may not be helping you. Let me explain.
A question from a recent leadership discussion has been stuck in my head:
What if the hard way isn’t the right way?
Many central executives and even their leadership teams describe the same reality:
Their calendars are full. Their stress is high. Their people depend on them for answers. Their businesses can’t seem to function without them.
And while they’re exhausted, there’s often a hidden belief underneath it all:
If I’m not carrying the weight, am I still adding value?
This sounds a little cliche, but I really think ALMOST EVERYONE has a deeply rooted fear that if they’re not working hard and getting things done, they’re not valuable. And this is especially true for leaders with a high D (Driver) personality.
The strange thing about leadership is that the behaviors that made someone successful early in their career often become obstacles later on. Every strength can be a weakness, right?
A great manager solves problems, but great executives build systems that solve problems.
A great founder makes decisions, but great CEOs develop leaders who can make decisions without them.
Yet many leaders stay trapped in the former roles long after their organizations need something different.
Why?
Because:
Struggle feels productive. Working hard and checking things off a list feels valuable!
Being needed feels important. Resolving a crisis feels super valuable and productive!
Being in the middle of everything provides certainty and control. “I’m the hero in charge!”
Even humble people tell of their trials and tribulations, even of bad decisions or major mistakes. But this too can be an addiction because it keeps the focus on the struggle.
So… leaders stay busy.
They jump into operational issues. They attend every meeting. They approve every decision. They become the organization’s chief firefighter.
And then they wonder why growth has slowed and why leadership feels lonely.
The irony is that the highest-value work of leadership often looks less dramatic. Real leadership is:
- Coaching instead of rescuing.
- Teaching instead of fixing.
- Delegating instead of controlling.
- Building people instead of solving every problem yourself.
Yes, real crises happen. Every organization occasionally faces moments that require direct executive attention. But if every week contains multiple crises that only the CEO can solve, the problem may not be the crisis. The problem may be the system. Or the team. Or the leader’s belief that they must remain at the center of everything.
The most effective leaders I know aren’t trying to become better firefighters.
They’re trying to make fires rare.
They build capable leaders. They create clear expectations. They establish decision-making frameworks. They develop cultures where problems are solved at the right level. And sometimes, they even go on sabbatical.
Most importantly, they give themselves permission to let leadership become easier.
Not easier because they’re working less.
Easier because they’re focusing on work that creates more leverage.
The goal of leadership isn’t to prove how much weight you can carry. The goal is to build an organization that can carry more weight than you ever could alone.
So here are a couple of questions worth considering:
Where in your business are you still solving problems that your team should be capable of solving without you?
Where are you doing things the old way because you’re addicted to the struggle, afraid you won’t add value without it, and resisting change or not even letting yourself envision a better way?
Because the next level of leadership may not require working harder.
It may require letting go of the struggle you’ve unconsciously mistaken for leadership.
Where are you still carrying the weight of leadership alone? What would be possible if you let go of the struggle and built with others who share your vision for a better future?
The future needs leaders who build organizations, not just solve crises. Where are you ready to trade struggle for leverage? If you’re on this journey, I invite you to connect or share your experience below.
This article was first published in my LinkedIn newsletter, Feeding the Flame. Read the original.